CastleGuard Reviews

Did you like Goldeneye? How about Perfect Dark? TimeSplitters? You did? Wow, you must be excited to see this game available for only $2 on Steam! Start with a pretty little title screen, and go to the "about" section. It's full of useful information pertaining to the well-made game you are about to play. Start with a rather unique loading screen that takes forever, even with a beefed-up computer and feel your anticipation build for the all the FPS-y goodness you are about to experience! But, don't touch that mouse or key,board, or else you'll have to close out all the background windows through Task Manager and start all over again! Once you can finally wait for the full three minutes for the game to load without getting too antsy, you are treated to some state-of-the-art PS2-style retro graphics. As the game states, you have a variety of weapons to choose from on a table next to you. Your varieties are the iconic Colt 1911, the well-known Colt 1911, the ubiquitous Colt 1911, or the ever-popular Colt 1911. After picking up the Colt 1911, resist the urge to grab the extra clip! If you do pick it up as you start the game with only 10 bullets, the guards who can see through the tent flap will frag your face faster than you can say, "Game over, Man!" Enjoy hours and hours of getting blasted away by the first two enemies who can take you down in 3 shots to the hand! Hooray! This was the best use of $2 I had since that time I bought a lottery ticket, won $4, spent that on 2 lottery tickets and lost! Awesome! If you have a crippling addiction to games like Halo, Call of Duty, or PlayerUnknown, this will cure you for good!