Hot Mars 69 Reviews

This game is a master piece forged by the gods of cream. I can not handle the excessive amounts of cream that perspire inside of my youthful host.

Just the best. Nothing better. A whole 10 minutes of sheer adrenaline packed fun. I would pay $1000 for this game, on god. Hell yeaaaaaaa bro.

Photoshop war ein Joke, ich war da nicht mal hellwach Scheiß auf den Benz, stepp' in einem nagelneuen R8, woah Du hast hundert Likes mehr? Ich hab' hundert Nike Air Check mal dein'n Style, dein Outfit ist nur ein'n Hundescheiß wert Weil ich Millionen verdiene, fahr ich Beamer, sammel' Sneaker Du verstehst unter Sneaker leider nur den Schokoriegel Bin mit deinem Girl fertig, du Bitch Du bist fresher als ich? Ja, das merk' ich jetzt nicht Bruder, du wärst gerne wie ich Streck die Hand gen Himmel, dass du Sterne erwischst Ein'n auf dem Benz, Digga, drei auf mein Hemd Ich hab' Style und 'ne Gang, du bist scheiße und wack Würdest gerne reimen wie Red Schau mal, ich hab' Scheine und Cash Kaufe kurz 'nen iPhone und Mac Dieser Fucker macht noch Kleingeld mit Tracks Ja, Bruder, du bist neidisch, und jetzt? Mir egal, in welcher Scheiße du steckst Brauche keine Warnschüsse Bin 'n so präziser Scharfschütze, treffe deine Zahnlücke Ein falsches Wort, ich komm' mit Krappi dann und bang' dich So fucking famous, selbst der Taxifahrer kennt mich Schlauberger, guck, ich schreib' im Bett paar krasse Lines Während dein Kopf hölzern wie 'ne Pressspanplatte bleibt Bin der Beste grad am Mic, fahr' den Benzer in mein' Nikes Und dein scheiß Auto ist und bleibt 'ne Kettcar-Karre, nice Fülle Parts mit Lines, habe den Bart gestylt Steig' ins Fahrzeug ein, trage gratis Shines Fahr ins Parkhaus rein Der Treffpunkt, an dem wir uns seh'n, müsste ein Tatort sein Digga, Mann, ich schlag' auf dich ein und du Freak fällst dann in Ohnmacht Der Boden färbt sich rot wie meine Yeezy-Red-October Red ist der Chef, ich zerfetze dich jetzt Mit dem heftigsten Text, ich bin echter als echt Handy S6, mach' mit Tracks das Geschäft Komm' mit Black-Cat-Cap, das ist heavy as rap Du willst auch ein Echter sein Das ist echt nicht leicht, du brauchst freshe Nikes 'Nen freshen Style, so wie Red, du weißt Aber Bruder, halt das Rezept geheim Scheiß Penner, jetzt macht der Nicerapper Kohle Und ich tret' in dein Gesicht rein mit der Flystepper-Sohle Baute damals Scheiße und aus Scheiße wurde Geld Heute mehr Sneaker als Michael Jordan selbst Everyday saturday (woah! woah!) Everyday saturday (woah! woah!) Everyday saturday (woah! woah!) Everyday s-, everyday s-, everyday saturday Everyday saturday (woah!) Everyday saturday (woah!) Everyday saturday (woah!) Everyday s-, everyday s-, everyday saturday (woah!) Everyday saturday (woah!) Everyday saturday apo red

it literally doesn't start. it crashes every time i try to start it. the farthest i've made was the low quality start screen and when i clicked play it crashed. I have 30 minutes of play time soley from the amount of time Ive spent trying to open the game. 30 minutes of menu time. incredible. If you do choose to buy make sure you have discord closed because people find it very, uh, odd that you're playing a game with such a name. you will face embarrassment if not.

Hot Mars 69 is possibly the best game ive laid eyes on. Since Skyrim every game I have played has been mediocre or flat out terrible, but this game is easily the best game I have every played. The gunplay is the best on the market, the open world gameplay is 300x better then God of War, and the enemys are better programmed then the enitirety of Super Mario Odyssey. The sound effects were crispy, espiecally the heartbeat sound, which thankfully plays throughout almost the entire game. The gun is the greatest gun ive ever seen and I know gun games, ive played splatoon on the wii u. Couldn't reccomend this game enough selling your house for this game is a amazing financial decision. Without this game your life will never be complete. This is the best game on steam thank you lord gaben. 69/10

All of the enemy models have the same generic 'rarrrr!' sound effect & either only the first enemy has any patrol path programmed or the only reason it attack me through the closed door is because it is positioned so close to the door that I was within its hitbox OR none of the enemy models have any patrol path programmed at all, they all just stand in place and do their limited animation over and over; all our GameGuru friends are here, weird alien with arms up over the shoulders withs their elbows flopping down and either vibrating because the animation is too fast or because they are colliding with the terrain, grey alien who has Hellraiser syndrome, black alien/insect thing with scythes coming out the back and they are mostly facing away from the linear path and because they have no movement programmed they won't turn to face you. I was convinced that the game had somehow spawned me at the end and I was going through the path backwards because so few of the enemy models were facing me...this is really stunningly low effort, there have been some really shoddy GameGuru releases in the past but it has definitely gotten worse, this isn't even funny in its lack of gameplay like Lost Base Escape or confusing in what seemed like its attempt to have gameplay like Slingshot People.

am actually world record holder of speedrun of Hot Miami 69 am too fast, game likes it. key for window get a good use game too easy to 10/7 perfect score

Basic run & gun. Short though. Really short. CONTROLS: I figured these out on my own. W A S D (Movement Keys) E to pick up items and to open doors. Hold down Left Shift with movement key to run. So holding down W and Left Shift will cause you to run forward. LMB to shoot. If you let the Martians get close enough to you they may attack you. Or not. They are rather stupid. If you can get this game for mere pennies, as I did, it's OK. Otherwise you may feel like you were ripped-off. Loading takes about a minute, maybe a little longer depending on your system. After recording this video I watched others on YouTube to confirm that I had in fact beaten the game. HERE'S A PLAY VIDEO OF MY FIRST RUN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Kez5tnTd0I

This game is not worth it. Now don't get me wrong, I understand the humor behind this developer's games. I own Gay World and President Trump The Way In Uganda. So, I'm not gonna review the theme, but the gameplay. It took about 5 minutes for the game to load. After that, the game was slow, but I managed to pull through. But then I found the enemies. The enemies look like The Rake, but they don't do anything. They can deal damage, but you can beat the game without killing them. Literally. They do not go towards you, like a normal enemy. All they do is just stand there. The only way to get damaged is to walk right infront of it. Oh yea, the game acts like it's a big deal that you have 99/100 health. You hear a heartbeat noise throughout the entire game. Now you can see why this isn't worth your money.

Hot Mars 69 actually hurt my ears while I played it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEu4JGT05rk This game is the next in the storied history of Ghost_RUS Games. They constantly release some of the worst trash on Steam that barely functions as a video game. It seems Ghost_RUS has now discovered the ease of using Game Guru to create terrible creations, but of course it's very evident that even using the laziest game developing engine is too much of a challenge for them. Hot Mars 69 is an FPS filled with Game Guru stock assets, awful pathfinding and the worst sounds I've experienced in a long time, The gameplay is incredibly simple. You have a stock asset gun that shoots lightning with more ammo than you would ever need. One shot will kill all the enemies which slowly meander towards you while you go through some corridors, followed by a horrendous open area. The enemies pathfinding is bad, even for Game Guru. I had enemies walk backwards towards me, get stuck on objects or inside walls and after the third or so room every single enemy in the game just ignored me completely. The sound design is painful to deal with. There are virtually no sounds in the game except for the same enemy wailing effect and this really awful gun firing sound that actually gave me a headache because it peaks so high in the game. It's legitimately painful to play this game because of it. I'm pretty sure I reached the end of the game in less than 10 minutes after I found a "key" which was just an untextured ball. Then I opened a door and walked up to a weird teleporter(?) which instantly crashed the game. Ghost_RUS is easily one of the worst developers currently on Steam. Aside from getting mainstream attention for their awful games, they constantly throw out utter garbage and vaguely disguise it as memes. If you found this review helpful, check out my curator page to see everything I cover. http://store.steampowered.com/curator/29029552/