Ted McPain - Awesomenauts Character DLC

Gotta hand it to my man Ted McPain and give him a positive review, he is a very formidable and sexual man, albeit sensitive and somewhat fragile, also prone to start uncomfortable political discussions during dinner (he's just not very well informed when it comes to politics and the economy worldwide) he has a heart of gold and no pants, Thus causing your opponents to throb at his mere presense, instantly giving you an advantage in like the 2 or 3 maps you actually wanna play him in. According to the wiki [quote=obama]As we know, le pain is the French for bread. Ted is actually of very noble ancestry: the McBread family. However, due to recent political developments, he and his relatives were forced to change their names to blend in after a particularly nasty relocation that left several of them dead—they chose to gallacise their name so as to mask their true identity. Ted also puts on a very stereotypical American accent to further the illusion that he is someone he is not. I mean, no one would suspect the rugged American is actually a Frenchman in a muscle suit, right? Why do you think his underwear is so... tight? Here is a hint: stereotypes. Have you never found his fanaticism with not retreating to be slightly overzealous?[/quote] Originally a member of the new york based pluri-cultural musical collective "cibo matto" Ted McPain leaves the band shortly after contributing instrumentals for the track, 'le pain perdu' due to his colleagues' frustration over Ted's narcissistic, self centered and pretentious personality which proved conflicting with the band's debut record's themes and style. Its at this point that Ted sees himself homeless, loveless and forced to live off' the scraps of the big apple, surviving only by selling his body, participating in contraband jobs and partaking in many an orgy. It would be later on in his life that Ted would come across his long lost relative voltar bonapart, in one of his midnight expeditions. The once destroyed McPain is re-established into his old self with no shortage of help from his distant cousins and warmly welcomed into the family that had previously bastardised his name. One of Ricardo's most notable features comes from his use of the now very iconic bandana and american flag thong that covers his well endowed body, these are symbols of his past life in new york, which he wears as war emblems, that represent the struggle that ted McPain has endured, the very same stained and over stretched pieces of lingerie are aspects of his past, and remain as unrepressed memories of the suffering he has overcome, in his own words: [u][i]Pants or guns!? ¡Guns![/i][/u] Ted McPain is a very bold but beautifully realised critique-piece on society and what it means to be free, and I applaud the artists at ronimo games for going through with their unfiltered creative vision, in a medium that is so afraid to discuss topics as delicate as this, and he is so damn sexy XXXB---D