NEURO Reviews

Game is utterly busted. Have gotten softlocked at numerous points just for playing a tad too quickly, weapons almost universally suck a*s, quicksaves are broken, and the final level is absolute bullsh*t, infinitely spawning a bunch of damage sponge enemies in armor to spam the game's strongest weapons at you in an extremely open area where progression is unclear. It honestly gives me Hunt Down the Freeman flashbacks. That's besides the fact that tons of areas are copy-pasted throughout the game, making it dull as hell to navigate. Story and voice-acting are funny but not enough to make this a worthwhile experience. Not recommended at all. F*ck Neuro.

This game is bad, and this review is to tell here why you should never buy the game. I know, you're thinking to yourself, you have played jank games before and this one isn't anything new. And mostly, you'd be right. But this one is special. Our story starts fairly normally enough. NEURO is a game from a Russian developer in the year 2006, where you have a story about something that don't really matter. Really, it doesn’t matter. You’re Jimmy, going to find some bad guy with your best buddy Craig, but then things don’t go right. This gives us a reason to run around and shoot bad guys. Honestly, I had written a bit about why this game is jank like the weapons, story, movement, skills, and all that. You could probably enjoy that with the other games, but let’s just say they’re in line with other jank Russian games of the time. The real reason why you should never play this game? The load times. Holy hell, those load streams. It’s not just the loads. It’s the saves, too. Say you are playing along, finding this game isn’t as bad as people are saying it was, then you hit save. Then, you wait. A full minute. And you’re like, okay, that’s not too bad. I just won’t save too much. Then, you accidentally die and now it’s time to load. You have to do that again now. It seems pretty normal, but the more you’re playing, you find wondering how you got to this point in your life? I don’t want to be sitting here talking about why my life. I just want to play bad video games. Oh, the game loaded, now I can keep playing and... I just took fall damage and died. Okay, time to load again. The game is more about time management of your saves/loads than anything. Now, the reason why I noticed into this issue and not as many people did? I had the game on hard. Please, I beg you. IF you do buy the game for some reason and play it, despite me telling you to not buy it, please don’t play it in hard. It’s not fun. You’re looking at like 3+ hours of your life just saving and loading. More even, if you’re worse than I am. This review is a rescue for help. [hr][/hr] If you’d like to see the game in motion through my eyes, [url=https://kuoushi.com/videos/neuro-complete-archive/]take a look at this complete archive of me playing it[/url] here. It should give you a good idea of how the game plays and what to expect.