Prototype Mansion - Used No Cover Reviews

potato

Teaboy's Basic(ish) Reviews....I read a lot of reviews when looking at games on Steam, and it quickly gets tiring – those who write involved, down to the micron scale reviews, although helpful, end up like looking at War & Peace when you’ve only got time for a quick 5 minute dump! This is middle of the road and to the point – not easy for me as I tend towards sesquipedalian loquaciousness! Vociferously Verbose? Alright, verbal diarrhoea. (Although I hate panning a developer’s work and all the time, effort and love they put into designing these – it is their life after all – this is my honest, personal opinion of my level of enjoyment. Sorry devs!). A note on time played: My Steam clock does not seem to work properly, indeed, it even minuses time on occasion! Plus, I have a tendency to wander off and leave games running at times, so time played may not be entirely accurate! Teaboy’s Tonsil Titillators or Toenail Titbits! (Rating) Tonsil Tickler (Totally Tops): The frenchy of which you always dreamt! To quote a master, “She’s got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a Man’s tonsils!”. An absolute masterpiece and joy to play. The Tits (Terrific): Everyone loves playing with these! Not THE best bit, but such fun on their own you can be lost for hours....mmmm. What most games you really like score – perfection is so rare after all. Torso Teaser (Taker of your Time): It’s a flat stomach....sure it’s nice to look at, run your fingers over, slobber on a bit, sometimes that bellybutton gets your motor running....but it's just basically the corridor between the two ‘gaming rooms’. The definitive ‘Meh’ - the middle ‘sideways thumb’ option for which everyone on Steam cries. Todger/Tadger & (scroTum) Taters (Tedious): Is it an ‘a’ or is it an ‘o’? Who cares! The meat can be fun to play with for about 5 minutes of your entire day, the rest it just hangs there and generally gets in the way of doing something else. The main problem of course, is the two veg sticking to your inside thigh. This is what this game feels like – the occasional/rare bouts of fun, the rest bobbing like a 19th century British Policeman (now you know why!). Toenail Tornado (Total Toss): A playthrough so appalling it’s like being trapped in a Turkish sauna with the ugliest, hairiest, fattest, sweatiest beast of a neolithic hominid who’s trimming his toenails using pliers and the splinters are reminiscent of a scene from the Normandy Landings. My god how did this get released!? Teaboy Touts (Score): Torso Glitch-Ridden Failure! The Review: For both Prototype Mansion - Used No Cover and Garden Variety Body Horror - Rare Import. The score says it all. I wanted to like these, I even found the first one 'quaint' and enjoyed its weird graphics and semi-awkward movement. Even though I considered it only a demo as it is sub 2 hours - I spent exactly 2 hours on it and it is FAMED for random crashes back to desktop as if you never loaded it, of which I had 2 I think? It even gave me a completely different playthrough when I reloaded the first time! Weirder and weirder. Anyway, I would have scored Prototype as thumbs up standing by itself, but the guarandamnteed crashes which the devs claim have never been able to replicate and never had on the second game Garden, ruin playthroughs of Every Game Ever! Sort your code out! And so to Garden....You don't even get a gun. That pretty much killed the Reseident Evil esq/vibe type game they were copying. Stone dead. Shuffling plants that you can't fight (cos you 'find' a 'pop gun' - yes, an actual BB Gun. smfhid [shake my ^&$£"%! head in despair]) but can kill you if you get too close means a game of running around, on a map that is SUPER dark, has lots of flora you can run through until you get stuck and of course cannot see through, and has a terrible save system of finding very rare cans of tuna to feed random kitties you find along the way (first game you actually shot them to save!) of which this is not actually made clear this is the 'save function' of the game and I wasted mine too early. Henceforth, this led to having to repeat whole sections, upon which I find my inventory is full and I can't progress without going back through all those stupid shuffling plants....and get killed due to being stuck by awful camera angles. Abandon game in frustration. Come back months later, still fortunately vaguely remembering not to go into the building until AFTER doing other stuff to free space....decide to NOT take a piece off of a solved puzzle....game soft-locks. Can't move, can't do anything other than rotate camera. Abandon game permanently. Leave negative review. Sort the effing glitches in your effing games you effing devs! Plus make a zombie survival game, which is based on RE, with an effing gun in it - from the start! First game much better, and it's claim to fame is crashing for no reason. How would you rate them....

This is a weird one for me. I really love the low poly style and cartoony character designs, and I adore the tongue in cheek approach to classic survival horror. This game is extremely charming. However, there's no shortage of issues, which become apparent not long after starting. The biggest issue I have with this game is that if you save (with a save point or checkpoint), then die and quit the game, thinking you can pick up where you left off, enemies will respawn but ammo and healing items won't. This completely destroyed my ability to progress the first 3 times I tried playing. Now, I am unclear on if this is a bug or not, but it makes at least the first half of the game feel like you sort of have to do it all in one go, and makes the inclusion of save points and check points feel pretty redundant given that on a first playthrough they are more likely to cause a softlock situation than they are to actually keep your progression, All that said...this is a very short game, and once you have a general understanding of where to go this issue sort of deals with itself, but I think it's still a pretty glaring problem that is likely to stop many players from finishing the game at all, which I highly doubt is what the developers had in mind. The game is also surprisingly hard, even on easy and ignoring the above mentioned issue, so even for those who are steeped in old school horror games, you might find yourself regretting starting on any difficulty but easy. Again, I genuinely love a lot of things going on here and I think it's one of the more unique takes on the classic survival horror style, so I still recommend playing it if you have any interest in playing a genuine parody of resident evil. Just know that it is fairly rough and unforgiving. If you are interested in more games like this, check out my curator page for more classic style survival horror game reviews: https://store.steampowered.com/curator/45050657/

I thought it was a good game. Died a couple times because of the zombie spawns being funky but I really like this game. Good parody of resident evil. And very funny. Love the ending. And yes, plays great on steam deck.