Guardians of Victoria Reviews

Absolutely broken platformer with rubbish controls! I've really enjoyed flying through platforms or not being able to jump at all in some cases. And what about that train stage? It's borderline impossible to complete! On the plus side, the sprites are fine, but that's it. Overall, avoid at all costs!

Music that does not fit the game - but at least is the best part of it - terrible gameplay, dysfunfunctional artwork, and the game does not exit properly - still registers as running in Steam, and even trying to forcefully close it using Steam will not work. Must fully exit Steam instead. 2/10.

TL,DR: this game in unbeliavably horrible, don't waste your precious time. So, i got this game in a bundle for something about 5 cents, maybe. Sold the cards and made some money, a lot more than i spent, AND STILL THINK IT WASN'T WORTH IT. This game has to be some kind of joke, i can't believe someone would actually release something so horrible, ugly, unresponsive and poorly done. I mean, if i was in a locked room with the developer of this game and Stalin, and i had a gun with just one bullet, i would definetly shoot Stalin right in the head, JUST SO I COULD HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BEATING THE HELL OUT OF THE DAMN DEVELOPER To be fair, the game DOES corresponds to it's proposal of beeing a "challenging platform". After all: - When you launch it, it's very challenging to NOT break your PC with a brick. That is, of course, if the game doesn't break it by itself, since It consumes any RAM from any computer within a 50 miles radius; - When you see the opening menu, it's very challenging to find out what to do in such a polluted screen; - When you can finally manage to enter the game, it's very challenging to get over all of the scribbles on the screens made of WordArt; - It's also very challenging to figure out what is platform and what is background, since everything it's equally ugly; - It takes about three minutes for the game to figure out you want to jump and respond to it, leading to situations such as: - You walk = you die - You manage to jump after three steps = you die. - You open your umbrella = the game crashes and you die. - You play = you die. and the game also crashes. a lot. Can't think of anything more challenging than that. So, yeah, very challenging, congratulations. And, as a bonus feature, it doesn't terminate when you quit and invisibly hides out, consuming a bizarrely large amount of RAM. It's like a dementor of performance. Long story short, it's a very glitchy, crashy game with an awful art, poor fonts and texts, horrible gameplay and it SOMEHOW still manages to consume more RAM than The Witcher 3 in full 4k resolution **WITH** that mod that enhances the hair effects. Can't recommend it, even as a joke.

four processes "nw.exe" that eats all memory RAM and CPU power which can find .... One gets the feeling that this crap crafting bitcoins, in parallel trying to run some kind of freaky game

--Updated review as of 6th january-- [b]TL;DR Not recommended in current state: RAM usage problem + unfinished[/b] -- Played a bit, tried tutorial and 3 levels The main problem is still there. Game uses ~2 gb RAM in main menu and scales up to 3-4 gb while playing levels. Here are some more significant problems: - game is lagging as hell through levels. This is unacceptable for any game, but especially for one, based on precise jumping and timing - same goes for music and game sounds - they're lagging along with visuals. Also, there's a bug with "water" platforms - using them more than 3-4 times causes "water" sounds overlapping and stopping all the music and game sounds - various bugs (inability to jump, falling through platforms, freezing death screen, etc) - some poor desicions with level design: too colorful backgrounds causing text to be unreadable, no clear distinction between surfaces you can and can't stand on, tips on the bottom of the screen while playing (you probably wouldn't read 'em because game is fast-paced) - general feeling of incompleteness, no unified visual and audio style (for example, half of the music is standard MacLeod themes, there's no animation of lightnings, etc) Still barely playable, still not recommended

As I write this review the game is currently under early access with patch 1.7 I don't know if the new update rendered the game unplayable, or if it was broke upon launch. Once I get into the game I get a Game Over screen within a few seconds. I am glad I only paid 0.29cents for the game, but they need to do some major fixes to this game. I wish the developer the best of luck, but I currently cannot recommend the game in it's current state. I will revisit it someday on my channel to see if the game got any better. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LW3jmkWUNtA

It's a shame. This game has a decent style to it and a lot of assets, which look okay IMO. However, horrible controls, technical issues and awful menus make it unplayable. If you scroll over my avatar, you might see that I'm playing this game right now. I'm not, it's stuck, or well - one of the THREE processes, used by title, is stuck in background, even after I quit the game. When you start the game you will be greeted by something that should represent interactive menu. However, this menu is so bad that you have to mouse-over things and take a step back, try to figure out what button does what and then finally start to play this game. Okay, I may have overstated that one, but it's quite close to that feeling. So many elements trying to grab your focus, hiding away important info, blending in with background, using bad colors ... ugh. Same thing goes for tutorial area, which is supposed to show you the controls. It shows labels that are sometimes hard to see, due to the blending with background behind them. Tutorial itself focuses rather on level dangers and leaves out couple of important things ... Finally, most critical "off" in my opinion is definitely bad collision coding. I couldn't run 5 meters without getting stuck to random objects on map. Maps themselves are also somewhat blending too much, enough that I don't really know will I die if I jump on something. I feel like developer should take a step back and try to solve all the issues. It might end up as a funny runner game, or whatever genre it claims to be. Right now it just looks like a title that has it all, but is not polished nearly enough to be enjoyable.

As of the time of this review, the game is EXTREMELLY slow (mostly due to the fact that it tries to eat all my RAM), and every input has a delay, so you're probably gonna die before your character does anything. The objects of the scenary seem to be aesthetically disconnected, which makes the gameplay harder, as it can sometimes confuse you about the right path to follow. It is not playable, as of now.

I don't really like to bash games on here to this extent but after the experience I have just had trying to play the game I think people should know how it currently plays. This game is *very* unfinished despite claiming to be on patch 1.3 at the moment. The menus have overlapping music tracks, the buttons take 5 or 6 attempts to click, when I finally got into the game the screen stretched in weird ways over itself before dumping me onto a screen in which I could only look left and right (Tried using all three sets of movement controls from the controls screen). On my second attempt to play the game I was able to move! (I think jumping first set it off) I have a video below of my second attempt at playing the game to back up my claims (Yes I know I'm not very good at it, I was mainly surprised that it let me move after the first time) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X63g8r8lCUY

If you load the game you get an award for waiting through the loading process as it takes so long. If you can figure out how to start a level, you win the "starter" award for being able to navigate the bad graphics. When you start the first level you can get an award for restarting (or respawning after dying) and watching the instructions 100 times. If you jump over the first two red buildings and then fall off the blue building, you've gone as far as you can. You win the "fall to your death" award. If you do that with a friend...it's co-op! That's where the game ends, so you should stop trying to go farther. You can't. I'll update with more achievements if I even launch the game again. It consumes any RAM from any computer within a 10 block radius of my house. Actually, I won't relaunch. I only paid $0.22 for the game with a 90% off coupon, but I'm still going to request a refund. Never mind, I've had so much fun trashing this game that it was worth it. In case you haven't picked up on it, this game is terrible. **edit** I am not eligable for a refund because even though I closed the game it...it didn't close. Now I'm over 2 hours of playtime. It keeps taking my RAM and recording game time for me. Now I can't get my $0.22 back. :(