Unbearable Reviews

Teaboy's Basic(ish) Reviews....I read a lot of reviews when looking at games on Steam, and it quickly gets tiring – those who write involved, down to the micron scale reviews, although helpful, end up like looking at War & Peace when you’ve only got time for a quick 5 minute dump! This is middle of the road and to the point – not easy for me as I tend towards sesquipedalian loquaciousness! Vociferously Verbose? Alright, verbal diarrhoea. (Although I hate panning a developer’s work and all the time, effort and love they put into designing these – it is their life after all – this is my honest, personal opinion of my level of enjoyment. Sorry devs!). A note on time played: My Steam clock does not seem to work properly, indeed, it even minuses time on occasion! Plus, I have a tendency to wander off and leave games running at times, so time played may not be entirely accurate! Obtw, the sequel flawlessly continued from the demo if you played it, so no need to replay the start! Good stuff! Teaboy’s Tonsil Titillators or Toenail Titbits! (Rating) Tonsil Tickler (Totally Tops): The frenchy of which you always dreamt! To quote a master, “She’s got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a Man’s tonsils!”. An absolute masterpiece and joy to play. The Tits (Terrific): Everyone loves playing with these! Not THE best bit, but such fun on their own you can be lost for hours....mmmm. What most games you really like score – perfection is so rare after all. Torso Teaser (Taker of your Time): It’s a flat stomach....sure it’s nice to look at, run your fingers over, slobber on a bit, sometimes that bellybutton gets your motor running....but it's just basically the corridor between the two ‘gaming rooms’. The definitive ‘Meh’ - the middle ‘sideways thumb’ option for which everyone on Steam cries. Todger/Tadger & (scroTum) Taters (Tedious): Is it an ‘a’ or is it an ‘o’? Who cares! The meat can be fun to play with for about 5 minutes of your entire day, the rest it just hangs there and generally gets in the way of doing something else. The main problem of course, is the two veg sticking to your inside thigh. This is what this game feels like – the occasional/rare bouts of fun, the rest bobbing like a 19th century British Policeman (now you know why!). Toenail Tornado (Total Toss): A playthrough so appalling it’s like being trapped in a Turkish sauna with the ugliest, hairiest, fattest, sweatiest beast of a neolithic hominid who’s trimming his toenails using pliers and the splinters are reminiscent of a scene from the Normandy Landings. My god how did this get released!? Teaboy Touts (Score): Torso Teaser The Review: For both Unbearable and its sequel Selene's Unbearable Night. Even given the somewhat mixed reviews, I saw these on sale and thought, for once, I'd support a poor ickle dev....considering I'm a cheapskate so literal you could make skates out of me (that admittedly would not last very long), I actually bought under my 66% minimum discount purchase limit. Who knows why - temporary weakness for my fellow man, exhaustion, stupidity, mis-click? Whatever, damage done and games duly played. The original and the dev's first attempt at a game was admittedly rather obvious it was indeed his first attempt. It had glitches where you would get stuck on random parts of the landscape - the ground! But hey, the dodge button usually freed you. Usually. It was a bit cheesy, very short, the combat was very basic but the bare bones were all there and it was passable to play without feeling like you needed to boil your own eyeballs with your own ball balls just to relieve the pain from playing ;p Movement (in both games) was a bit too slow, and your run was actually a slow jog which slowed the pace of the game, and the aiming was far too sensitive even when just a single notch above minimum in the options. But the biggy here was the voice acting. I mean O....M....F....G!!!! It honestly seemed as if the dev had blackmailed the younger sister after she'd just got back from a baaaad day at school - she read the main part of Selene like she was reading another boring as hell passage from Shakespeare in English class, with all the nuance and intonation of a decrepit professor giving a lecture on how the dung beetle rolls dung down dunes during diurnal desert downpours....snore fest united 1, pupil learning acuity 0. It is honestly the Worst acting I have ever seen/heard in Anything Ever, hands down. The best were the guys with one line. The other girl in the gaol (jail) tried putting emotion in but the flow of speaking was so stilted and unnatural it was almost unfollowable. This dramatically improved in the sequel, with a new voice actress, lines of dialogue that actually made sense, most of the time, and proper flow of language delivery. Phew. The sequel improves, albeit marginally, on Every aspect. I tried the demo before buying these games, which is odd that I did actually purchase, but heyho, like I said, it was a moment of madness. In the demo I actually got stuck on a piece of ground and actually had to reload, but luckily did not have to start from scratch. This is a saving grace of this game - the autosaves. HOWEVER....there was one instance where you are trapped in a room with a boss and it does NOT autosave. The worst part being you get stun-locked with this demi-boss whereupon I got hit, knocked down, then IMMEDIATELY hit, down, hit down, hit down dead. Nothing worked to break the cycle, not trying to run, not dodging and not shooting - I never got the chance to do anything in between the animations. This aside, apart from a Really Weird instant in the first game where I actually played a part of the game that Did Not Exist!?!? Yeah, me neither. You and the girl have to jump 2 baddies from behind, only she doesn't move, indeed, in the first game you have the 2nd character order ability which doesn't really work and often the character gets stuck and doesn't follow....I took them both out myself, then something must have glitched because I went through tunnels and rooms and picked up a door spinwheel opener thingy which affixed to Nothing. Ended up circling back after about Half A Bloody Hour to the place where the 2 goons were, and it RESET! Still had to kill em myself again as she was nowhere to be seen, even though it did her spiel again....then I immediately meet a boss and go down a different route....w the actual f indeed. Free level? Bonus material just for little old me, perhaps? Lucky me.... So apart from a glitchy original where you can also fall through the floor forever - yet more game resets - and see through the walls if you're next to them and move the camera and actually see the entire map which is kinda cool, [spoiler] and how I managed to get out of the gaol in the first place as you have to order her and it didn't work cos she followed you into the cell and you both get trapped, but then it glitched and I was free! [/spoiler] Apart from all of that, they were playable....just annoying unskippable cutscenes with bosses and dying and repeating, but they were never too long.... Overall, the dev is improving, it's a bit resi evil ish, more like Them and Us (which I haven't actually finished from months back as the sheer level of 'wtf am I/going' frustration got to me) but with none of the tension of possibly dying and losing hours of play. In a way, It's a cheap copy which is easier to play! Give it a go on sale. This dev will knock out a better game each time and, hopefully one day, give great game ;)

Some things only appear if you believe in them. Sometimes that works both ways. Grab a friend and dive into a co op Silent Hill from 2006 to find out the truth.

"Unbearable" is a fantastic indie game. I enjoyed my time playing this short game as I found it to be fun and entertaining. The character models and environments are beautifully designed for a indie game. The voice acting is awesome. The story unfolds like a low budget B-movie. It is a very interesting story and a mindf**k. I highly recommend 'Unbearable".