Coffee Crisis Reviews

A weird beat 'em up! Honestly, I can't get enough of these weird beat 'em up games. Reminds me of all the old NES games I used to rent in high school. It's an interesting game, has a kind of a unique story, and can be pretty unforgiving at times.

Coffee Crisis is arguably the best beat-'em-up released for the Mega Drive in years! Jokes aside, the game excels in delivering top-notch gameplay while maintaining a smooth experience. It truly captures those pure '80s vibes. The only minor drawback I’d mention is the game's duration. However, it excels in almost every other aspect for fans of '80s arcades—be it music, plot, gameplay, graphics, or co-op features. Definitely a well-crafted game worth playing.

Coffee Crisis - a cheerful Beat'em up resembling a happy childhood. With what do you associate your childhood? Personally, I have time spent in gaming halls, with big machines with games like Street of Rage. It was unforgettable. And now we have a very similar game but with a ton of humor.It's fun, interesting and very hardcore. Excellent game in the Beat'em up genre. Suitable for playing alone or with a friend.

Very complex and funny beat'em up. A lot of different enemies, a big variety of locations, many bonuses and boosts. All this is waiting for you in the game.

With heavy heart, I say not recommended, even with my love of all things coffee. This game's dark roast has too many flaws that add up to an unpleasant taste. Take a look at "Charlie Murder" as an alternative. The core of a beat-em-up is gameplay, and that does not feel really accurate. The combat animation seems a little off, where I connect or do not connect when I do not expect it. The sound effects seemed to play before the animation. And often, when the screen is entirely FILLED with enemies, the player is being hit from every direction and even the basic attack control does not feel responsive. That is what kills the game for me, because if the gameplay was fun, I could overlook all the other issues. The music loops seem terrific at first, but the loops are so short that they become irritating. I wish they had provided a bit more of the song in-game. Maybe these were limitations on the original Sega console platform? It would explain why basic combat actions are not mentioned, as if there were a manual that came with the game. The game has "mod" pickups that drastically change the screen rendering (like everything in rainbows), in the middle of combat, which can thankfully be reduced (not eliminated) in the options. Also, the "save game" works by providing continue codes for levels, which is the first time that I have seen this in twenty years. Grab a pen and paper! Technically, I played this game on an Ubuntu desktop system with radeon mesa graphic drivers, and a xbox-type gamepad controller. I encountered a known issue where the game crashes whenever a controller disconnected. The game uses the Unity game engine. I do like the edgy-coffeehouse spirit of the game, such as giving pensioners a beatdown with a stainless steel coffee pot, and it reminds me of punk-rock movies of the eighties, like Repo Man and They Live. I tried this again as a co-op game with friends, but the limitations kept us from enjoying it. The game was even more unresponsive with two people. I would not recommend it for purchase. (And looking at the global Steam Achievements, only 16% of owners have even gotten past the second stage!) Unfortunately, this is a bean that needed just a little more time in the roaster.

Coffee Crisis is a beat 'em up that lacks lots of basics, however it redeems itself with some cool style of old, unfortunately that is not enough... [h1]Story[/h1] It is a silly plot, aliens invade earth to take the best music ever created, Metal and also our coffee. It's up to two baristas to get rid of the menace through an inhuman amount of coffee ingestion. [h1]Gameplay[/h1] It's a simple beat 'em up, though it offers some new ideas to spice up the gameplay, by adding some modifiers that at certain points alter the style of the game by making enemies more powerful or by giving the screen this sensation of an old TV set, among others. The variety of enemies is good, all of them have different attacks, from range to melee attacks, we also have passwords every time we beat a stage so we continue playing later, this makes the game a bit more tolerable. The problem is Coffee Crisis forgets about the basics of pretty much every good beat 'em up. [h1]Sound and Music[/h1] The devs clearly love death metal, because the soundtrack is pretty much metal riff after metal riff, which is great, the whole game breaths metal, from the baristas, to the whole atmosphere of concerts, music and metalheads, however most of the time the metal music makes it difficult to listen to the rest of the audio sounds, just tweak the sound options and you are all set. [h1]Graphics[/h1] The game offers a classic style from the time of NES and SNES, it looks great, old school all over. No more no less. [h1]The bad[/h1] It doesn't matter how good the game looks, how great the music is, the gameplay suffers from the most punishing mechanics a game like this can offer, it all starts quite easy, even on the most difficult option, however, it doesn't matter what you do, the enemies will suddenly swarm you, giving you no respite to plan a decent attack, or retreat to catch a breath, recover and attack again, it even feels the difficulty varies from easy to normal, then back to easy to end up being extremely difficult. This is not the only problem the game has, there is also a very annoying lag with the main characters attacks which makes the gameplay even more punishing, but not only that, enemies hitboxes seem to fail even when in front of them, to make things worse, the attack range is very short forcing you to stay really close to the enemies, but you can't do much, because they swarm you from every place, considering that 70% of the enemies have range attacks it makes things even worse, it feels the devs really wanted you get frustrated easily because that is what pretty much happens. That is not even the end of the bad in this game, when facing enemies it is normal for a decent beat 'em up to hit an enemy and they will stop attacking, this doesn't happen here, they can avoid your attacks easily by moving away, they can knock you back with range attacks, there are no combos and the only option you end up using is aerial attacks and this is when the game forces you to quit or continue, but getting tired of the unfair gameplay. There are also some scenarios that sometimes offer some sort of distortion that may look cool and old school, however the amount of enemies that attack you at once, these distortions that change the effects and style of the game, only add to the confusion of where you are supposed to be, sometimes your character gets lost in the middle of the chaos, enemies and effects, which ends up with you dying. [h1]Conclusion[/h1] Coffee Crisis had some much potential, it looks great, it just plays bad, some decisions were made here that totally affected the game in a terrible way and I doubt the many issues are gonna be fixed any time soon. I which I could give the game a mixed review, I had some fun, but the cons outweigh the pros. If you still want to play the game because of the looks, just be aware the game has the potential to induce rage quits.

It seems great for the first few seconds, then you realize it's not. The graphics and atmosphere are more than fine (apart from some effects that distort the screen or alter the colors just to annoy the player). The problem is the gameplay: hordes of enemies that cannot be stopped, which force you to jump around without understanding anything, without any tactics. Such a pity.

This game lacks many of the basics of beatem up games from the era of both NES and SNES, Megadrive and Genesis. Enemies spawn in massive waves and fire endless projectiles across the screen that you can not dodge without constantly moving and there is no block. Hitstun is extremely questionable when attacking enemies, often you're hitting them and they just start hitting you instead. Many hitboxes allow for your attacks to go right through enemies or for them to hit you while you're standing behind them. River City Ransom, Final Fight, Turtles in Time and Streets of Rage are all prime examples of what this game isn't, but seems to be trying to be with a new "neo-rogue" concept of just messing with the screen and making random things happen all the time.

The plot is nonsensical, which is intentional, but it's also just plain bad. (And the text is annoying to scroll through, which really doesn't help.) The controls are sluggish, too - there's a few frames between you hitting the jump button and the character actually jumping. And the difficulty ramps up quickly, which isn't fun. So you mash buttons (there's only one attack button, no interesting combos!) until you win or die, occasionally maneuvering to avoid the worst of the attackers. And there aren't any save slots - just codes. I get that this is recreating the Games Of Yore, but I *played* those, and save codes were the feature I missed least.

Played the demo and figured I'd pick up the full game for some couch co-op. Did not take very long for us to get bored of it, it simply felt a bit too much on the retro scale. Controls felt floaty and the whole combat system with ranged enemies and no way to dodge or block only lead to doing nothing but jumpkicks. There's no indicators or explanations what certain pickups do and various other small annoyances noticed in a short period of play. So yeah, too old school for me. Might go back and re-try it at some point since the art is pretty nicely done, and it has a nice metal soundtrack too.