World of Zoo Reviews

i got this game YEARS ago on disk, very fun game as a kid :)

[b]> be me > looking for a game to unwind > *World of Zoo* sounds nice, how bad can it be? > boot it up, it’s like Zoo Tycoon but for kids, I’m down > create my first animal: a giraffe named Gerald > Gerald is my king now > build him a deluxe habitat > "GOOD" habitat rating > What do you mean "GOOD"? He deserves "EXTRAORDINARY"! > fine, I add a penguin named Steve for *chaotic* energy > Steve immediately starts stealing the show > Gerald, my giraffe, is now just a background character > Steve the Penguin is basically a celebrity > he’s dancing, clapping, being adored by the visitors > everyone loves Steve > Gerald's in the corner, probably plotting his revenge > decide to get a tiger for some edge > name it Razor Claws McSnuggles > McSnuggles just sits there and stares into my soul > okay cool > keep adding more animals to distract from the fact that I am losing my grip on reality > now I have five tigers and one penguin > guess who’s the star again? > not the tigers > Steve continues to be the main attraction, I’m honestly considering a spin-off game where it’s just Steve > spend an hour building a fancy "Jungle Safari" zone > "Beautiful," says the visitors > they’re probably lying, it’s mostly just trees and some water > ignore them, I have a zoo to manage > the tigers start judging me > all they do is *stare* while Steve gets all the attention > keep adding more animals to my zoo empire > Gerald's just a giant neck in the corner now > 10/10 would recommend if you want to make penguins your overlords and make tigers question their life choices [/b] [hr] [h1]The TF2 Mercenaries Play World of Zoo[/h1] Setting: The TF2 mercenaries are gathered in the dusty respawn room. A single computer glows, World of Zoo freshly installed. The atmosphere is chaotic, as usual, but with a sprinkle of childlike wonder. [Scene 1: Booting Up the Game] Pyro sits at the computer, humming the World of Zoo theme song. Medic and Engineer lean over the chair, while Scout paces impatiently. Scout: (grinning) C’mon, Pyro! Boot it up! I wanna see if I can make a giraffe that’s, like, super fast. Like me, but with a longer neck! Engineer: (squinting at the screen) This here’s a kid’s game, Scout. Let’s keep it simple, alright? Medic: (already scheming) Ja, ja! But I vould like to create a habitat zat maximizes ze animals' health. Zey shall live forever! Sniper: (leaning against a crate) Forever, huh? Sounds like something you’d say before “oops, zey’re zombies.” Demoman: (slapping Sniper’s back) Aye, if anyone’s creatin’ zombies, it’s him. I’m here to make somethin’ explode... metaphorically. Maybe a big ol’ hippo exhibit. Spy: (sighing dramatically) I do not understand why we are wasting time on zis... cartoon nonsense. Heavy: (smiling) Heavy likes animals. Especially bears. Big, strong, and fluffy. Like Heavy. Spy: (rolling his eyes) Of course you do. [Scene 2: Building the Zoo] The mercenaries start building enclosures. Chaos immediately ensues. Scout: (placing penguins) Alright, my penguins are gonna have the best setup ever! Check this out: slides, a pool, and, uh... do they need snacks? Engineer: (focused) Snacks, yes. Don’t forget, animals have preferences. If ya mess it up, they’ll get cranky. Scout: (smirking) Cranky? What are they gonna do, start a penguin riot? Heavy: (placing a bear in a forest habitat) Heavy’s bear is happy. Bear has tree. Bear has cave. Bear is like Heavy: needs snack and nap. Medic: (excitedly placing animals) Look! I added ze zebra to ze savannah. It vill form social bonds and—oh nein! It’s lonely! Scout, add another zebra! Quickly! Scout: (mocking) Oh nooo, the poor zebra needs a BFF! Relax, Doc, I’m on it! Spy: (snorting) Yes, Scout, your empathy is truly touching. [Scene 3: Mini-Game Mayhem] Scout discovers the feeding mini-game and immediately becomes obsessed. Scout: (laughing) Yo, check it out! I’m throwing fish to the penguins. Look at ‘em go! This one’s my favorite—I’m naming him “Fast Freddy.” Sniper: (glancing over) That penguin just slipped on a fish. Yeah, he’s definitely yours. Pyro: (happily grooming a lion) Mmph! Mmph-mph! Demoman: (watching) Are ye givin’ that lion a haircut? What next, a shampoo and blow-dry? Medic: (grinning) Ze lion appreciates it! Look at its shiny mane. Zis is a vital part of animal care. Spy: (sarcastically) Yes, because lions are known for appreciating human salon techniques. Truly groundbreaking work, Doctor. Heavy: (smiling) Heavy likes grooming. Lion is happy. [Scene 4: Chaos in the Zoo] An alert pops up: “Monkeys are causing mischief!” Scout: (reading the screen) “Mischief?” What does that even mean? Sniper: (pointing) Means they’re nicking stuff. Look—one’s got a visitor’s sunglasses! Engineer: (panicking) Dang it, I told ya we needed better fences! Demoman: (laughing hysterically) Look at that wee rascal! He’s got a banana and he’s struttin’ like he owns the place! Medic: (taking notes) Fascinating! Zey demonstrate remarkable problem-solving skills. I vill need to observe zis behavior further. Spy: (smirking) Of course, monkeys stealing hats. Zis game is more accurate than I thought. [Scene 5: The Review Begins] The mercenaries pause the game to discuss their thoughts so far. Scout: (leaning back in his chair) Okay, pros: the animals are cute, the mini-games are fun, and my penguin exhibit is awesome. Cons: not enough action. Like, where’s the monkey vs. lion fight I was hoping for? Medic: (frowning) Scout, zis is not a gladiator simulator. Ze point is ze harmony of ze ecosystem! Pros: educational, relaxing, and... zose grooming mini-games. Cons: ze lack of advanced medical tools. I vould like to treat a sick elephant! Heavy: (nodding) Pros: bears. Bears are perfect. No cons. Spy: (exhaling smoke) Pros: decent graphics for a children’s game. Cons: repetitive gameplay. And I am still upset zey did not let me give ze lion a beret. Missed opportunity. Demoman: (laughing) Pros: ye can do a lot with the enclosures. Cons: nae explosions. Coulda used some controlled chaos, y’know? Like a wild animal breakin’ loose just to spice things up! Sniper: (thoughtful) I reckon it’s solid for what it is. Good for kids, relaxing for adults. Pros: nice variety of animals. Cons: yeah, it could use a bit more... challenge. Pyro: (clapping) Mmph mmph-mph! [Scene 6: Final Thoughts] Engineer: (smiling) Well, it’s a good time. Not every game has to be about blowing things up or running fast. It’s a nice change of pace. Medic: (nodding) Ja, ja! A delightful experience. Perfect for ze whole family. Heavy: (smiling) Bears are happy. Heavy is happy. Scout: (grinning) Yeah, it’s fun. Not the kind of thing I’d play every day, but hey, my penguins are the happiest dudes on the block. Spy: (smirking) Zis has been... tolerable. For once, I can say I did not entirely waste my time. Demoman: (laughing) Aye, it’s a good laugh. But if they make a sequel, I’m petitionin’ for a cannon. For... reasons. Sniper: (raising a mug of coffee) Fair dinkum. Here’s to World of Zoo. The mercenaries cheer as Pyro unpauses the game and adds more flamingos to their exhibit. Title Card: “Even in the chaos of battle, the mercenaries found peace in managing their digital zoo. Except Scout, who now thinks penguins are his spirit animal.” [hr] I built a zoo, it's quite the feat, Penguins in suits, parrots on repeat. A giraffe with glasses, looking smart, A hippo that thinks it’s an art. Elephants dance, tigers sing, I’m just here for the chaos they bring. A zebra in heels, a lion with flair, No one’s following rules, but who cares? World of Zoo, a quirky place, Where every animal’s lost their grace. Chaos and cuteness, no need to choose, It’s a mad, wild world... in World of Zoo!

Played the Wii version of this game a bunch as a kid and seeing it here on Steam set my nostalgia neurons off. Only half of the animals are available though. No Alligators, Antelope, Bears, Elephants, or Penguins. Super unfortunate. If you want to buy the Steam version I recommend waiting for a Steam sale. If all the animals were available then I would actually say it'd be worth it at base price.