Yohjo Simulator Reviews

You run around as a 3rd grade girl who is apparently a superhero spawn with no moral compass. You run into people and they'll go flying, as will most objects. You'll jump on buildings and get stuck behind them. Or spend a few minutes trying to make some sense of the game and give yourself a sense of purpose. There is none, and your time has been wasted.

Completely terrible. There is virtually no real gameplay, and no sound aside from the horrendously annoying soundtrack. And for some reason, the dev decided to add a child rape/murder easter egg in the map.

Oh Japanese products... what would we do without you Japan... 10/loli would politely bow the fuck out of people again [h1][b]On a serious note[/b][/h1] The game is basically Goat simulator without the goat or literally anything whatsoever... [table] [tr] [th]Pro[/th] [th]Con[/th] [th]What?[/th] [/tr] [tr] [td]Its a loli simulator[/td] [td]No HUD[/td] [td]Cameltoe? cameltoe! on a loli...[/td] [/tr] [tr] [td]Its Japanese[/td] [td]No UI[/td] [td]Naked guys[/td] [/tr] [tr] [td]you bow to people[/td] [td]No settings[/td] [td]Dancing naked guys[/td] [/tr] [tr] [td]Jump kick![/td] [td]Small map[/td] [td]Pedo scene[/td] [/tr] [tr] [td]Controller supported[/td] [td]Pretty much nothing to do[/td] [td]-[/td] [/tr] [tr] [td]You can control the loli in main menu, bow to yourself before you start the game![/td] [td]Sometimes crashing[/td] [td]-[/td] [/tr] [/table] [B][h1]Goals:[/h1][/b] There are no goals as devs said, [quote=DEADFACTORY/Sekai Project]You control Yagi, a 3rd grade elementary school girl, and wander around town. [b][u]There's no goal in this game[/u][/b]. You need to decide the goal for yourself. It's the same as in life. This is an amazing[strike]ly realistic[/strike] simulator.[/quote] But here are few goals you might use to challenge yourself. [list][*][spoiler]Find the pedo crime scene[/spoiler] [*][spoiler]Climb to the lonely dancing guy[/spoiler] [*][spoiler]Observe the magnificent bush that looks like a dick.[/spoiler] [*][spoiler]Find that one crack to get out of town's invisible walls[/spoiler] [*][spoiler]Fall of the map[/spoiler] [*][spoiler]Crash the game[/spoiler] [*][spoiler]Use the crates and wooden walls physics to launch yourself to space[/spoiler][/list] [h1][b][u]Should you buy it?[/u][/b][/h1] If you want to be a loli - [B]Buy it[/b] If you want to support the development of the game - [B]Buy it[/b] If you're looking for anything besides nothing and a short time entertainment - [B]Don't buy it[/b] At current state the game has very little to offer, and by very little; i mean nearly nothing at all.

Absolute trash. You can literally do NOTHING in this game except for running, jumping and headbutting things. 20 seconds later you've explored the ENTIRE map. Not worth the money or the time. It's not even a game. You should rather buy Garry's Mod, install a loli skin and jump around in a map there instead. At least that's fun!

For it's 5 Euro price, it's a robbery. Running and headbutting only on some street? No levels or some kind of variety, combos or so? Even the menu: start and exit... Now that's the sign that this will be a shitty game or what so ever this want to be. In overall, this thing should be suffice to call for a third nuke. Just choose the Rock or the Goat Simulator. Much better places for your money.

This game has only a small amount of content. There is only one map. That map is extremely small. You can explore the whole map in less than five minutes. There is also a very limited set of items. The discription of the game in the about the game section says that the physics engine is buggy, and that is completely true. Because of this I hope they will add more to the game and it will become better. The game does not even have an options menu or a control list I asume they will add more as there is more to the game. I would enjoy the game if there was more to it, but for now I would say not to buy it. Wait for more updates to come out before you get it. The reasoning for my thumbs down is the lack of content, but when it gets more content this game has the potential to be a good game.

The 'game' consists of no menu options, an animated girl, an island of three buildings and a street set slightly above a square of water that you can fall off of (no not into. on, then off of.) infinitely until you restart the 'game' the only way you can- hit your escape key and reopen in steam. Edit: I don't know what the R key does, but evidently I am a 'retard' for not knowing, so perhaps the game is worth more than I thought. I've already requested a return, though, and steam won't let me play it unless I buy it again, so I'm going to leave this for other folks as a record of my 'retard' experience with this game. Perhaps watching a youtube video on it to see what all you could do would have helped.

there is nothing to this game its just a unreal map that you can climb some stuff and hit some objects. its a small map this feels like playing a stundent project or something. from what little i played of the meme game goat sim that started this fad there is at least stuff to do and interact with in that. we paying £3.50 for a baren map now boys? the one pro is that one of the two npcs is based of that guy in the isnlanders shirt from the japanese gay porno meme so thats something should have put billy herrington in the game but yeah its a shitty physcis meme game just with a loli

You should know that ALMOST EVERY positive review on this game is a joke. There is no way you can customize your controls. You can't see any options, so you have to guess on the controls. The starting screen is bland and only consists of two buttons "start" and "exit". the buttons are only black rectangles with the words above them. The game world is dull and REALLY small. It's dullness made it feel like I was in a dystopian world. But not the dystopian worlds you see in books, movies, and other games. This world has no wonder in it. And the map is so small that you can see everything in less than a minute. The parkour only consists of pressing the space bar, and you hardly ever even go to where you want your character to go. The "physics" are horrible. Last time I hit someone, they didn't go flying into the wall and get stuck in it while glitching out. And there is really nothing to do in this game besides headbutt things for no reason. you feel no sense of achievement from doing anything. 90% of the time, my game lags like crazy simply because of the girl's hair flying all over the place. The graphics are bad too. I could probably play this on my Atari. On the upside, there is a dick shaped bush on the sidewalk. But no, this isn't worth the $5 it's asking for. I wouldn't even get it if it were free.

Don't trust the rating, this game has more joke reviews than serious reviews. The game's menu screen consists of 2 buttons: start and exit. Here are the controls, which are not at all mentioned in game: WASD to move around, use the mouse to look around arrow keys for tank controls, where U and D move forward and back while L and R rotate ESC to exit the game R to restart the game space to jump left click to attack hold control to crouch hold shift to run When you click the black box under "start", the game will freeze. Don't worry, it is just loading. There is no loading screen. Basically all this is is a physics sandbox. There are objects which you can push around without any purpose to it at all. There is not much more that can be said about this game. There's not much variety, like in the similar game Goat Simulator. it would not take you very long to count every single object in the game. The fact that this game is not in early access is astounding. The developers have released it on steam as a full game. There have been games made in 48 hour game jams with more content than this. I'm not trying to be funny, I mean that literally. It takes less than a minute to walk across the entire map. It's like someone was just playing around with the Unreal game engine and decided to charge money afterwards for nothing. Even after being off of steam for several months, very little has changed. I'm disappointed that this got approved to be on steam - twice. Please keep in mind that if you play the game for under 2 hours, you can get a refund through steam's refund system. You can choose "I didn't like this game" as the reason, the refund will be approved.