Playtime:
15185 minutes
[h1] 252 Hours of Bugs and Pure Developer Failure – This Game is Used as a Torture Device in Guantanamo [/h1]
[h2] "If suffering was a game genre, this would be Game of the Year." [/h2]
I have all achievements in this game. 252 hours. I even played the demo before release and spent dozens of hours before achievements were even added. And I can say with absolute certainty:
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[h1] This game is garbage. [/h1]
The only positive thing I can say is that the soundtrack is genuinely good – but good music can’t save a broken mess like this.
I was genuinely excited for this game after the demo – the story there was actually guided, if I remember correctly. The demo also had tons of bugs, but people overlooked them – after all, it was just a demo and who knew what might be added later. I even thought that by the full release we’d see drivable vehicles, but those now seem to be "announced" instead. My thoughts on that are in the gameplay section. Then came the full release: the first ~5 hours were almost bug-free, giving me false hope. Then it all fell apart. Story-wise, I literally had a quest saying “Talk to someone”… I went there, and he wouldn’t talk to me. Save file broken. Restarting and various other attempts did nothing. Quest dead, game progress "lost"
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[h1] Bugs Everywhere: [/h1]
The biggest drug in Drug Dealer Simulator 2 isn’t cocaine or meth – it’s bugs. This game is so unfinished, even Early Access titles would be jealous.
[list]
[*]Quest scripts constantly break → Reload.
[*]NPCs act like remote-controlled idiots.
[*]Boat docks? Sure, you can dock… but half the time you can’t even get on land because the transitions are broken.
[*]The world feels like a copy-paste fever dream with zero polish or logic – I mean seriously, since when do bushes grow out of rocks?
[*]Many areas look walkable but just trap you in geometry because the map is so "edgy" and unrefined.
[*]Why is the yacht fast-travel system so broken that I dock in Dueno del Mar but end up in Paraiso Peninsular?
[*]Why are the same bugs from the open beta still in the game? It’s been out long enough. Are you too incompetent to fix them, or do you just not care? By the time anyone realizes how bad it really is, they’ve already spent too much time in it to get a refund.
[*]Why are some shopkeepers sometimes invisible, forcing me to memorize their locations just to buy something?
[*]Why does the interaction menu (hold R) sometimes completely fail to work for opening backpacks, maps, or anything else?
[*]At night, there’s a severe white flickering bug that’s been around since the open beta. It doesn’t happen every night, but when it does, it’s intense enough that even I felt sick – and I don’t have epilepsy. For something this visually aggressive, there is zero epilepsy warning – which is reckless and outright dangerous for anyone prone to seizures. How is this not addressed?
[/list]
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[h1] Gameplay: [/h1]
At the start, the game is about cooking or growing some drugs, selling them yourself, and using the profits to expand production and upgrade your base. Once you unlock your first distributor dealers, the stress ramps up. Suddenly, you’re less of a "cartel boss" and more of a delivery boy – risking your cash with thugs and your drugs with cops.
If you play solo, you’ll barely have time for special clients anymore. Instead, you’re stuck in a loop of buying supplies to make drugs just to keep your distributors stocked. If you play co-op, splitting the workload with a friend makes it slightly better, but solo? Forget it.
Shops only restock once per day around 6 AM, which means after buying supplies you’re forced to wait an entire in-game day. And since you can’t sleep during the day, you have to sit there and watch the clock crawl.
Got raided and lost everything? Too bad – now you’ll spend ages cooking just to recover. Growing weed plants takes about 35 minutes for 80g, and drying 100g in a single dryer takes ~45 minutes. All of this drags on endlessly before you can even get back on your feet. Sleeping at night doesn’t progress production – it literally pauses. Machines keep running if you’re away, but if you sleep? They tuck themselves in and stop too. Even the plants stop growing when you sleep. And as already mentioned, I don’t understand why you can’t sleep during the day to fast-forward time. Did I at least give them a bedtime story and a goodnight kiss?
The story is, as I said before, ASS. You can skip entire story elements without realizing it, only to see them later when they’re completely useless – like learning about the alternative route to the capital after unlocking fast travel there.
At one point, you’re tasked with supplying a cartel. This is where the developers’ "creativity" really shines:
You craft items and even steal some, which can take several in-game days because you have to wait for respawns.
You raid the military base for bomb parts. Sounds exciting, right? Wrong.
Sometimes there are no guards at all, and you can waltz in without resistance. Other times, if you get caught and thrown in jail, you keep the bomb parts after being released!
Instead of real gameplay, it feels like waiting simulator:
"Wait for X to contact you"
"Wait for Y to respawn"
"Wait for Z to finish"
These clowns clearly ran out of ideas and padded it with time-wasting nonsense.
As for the upcoming drivable cars: I already expect them to be terrible. You’ll probably get stuck constantly on bridges and other terrain. I’m sure FPS drops will be endless while driving. On top of that, the map is so horribly designed with all those scattered islands – which map designer was drunk enough to think this entire map was a good idea? Honestly, the fast travel points are the only saving grace in this game; they save time and spare you from seeing more of this abomination of a map.
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[h1] Multiplayer Disaster: [/h1]
[list]
[*]Why do I get FPS drops just because my friend is sitting in the casino or using fast travel?
[*]Why can I hear his snake bites across two islands?
[*]Why does the yacht teleport me to the wrong island entirely?
[*]Why can I see enemy health bars across the entire map when my friend is fighting them?
[*]Why can I see the distance between my friend and random dealers? Why on earth do I need to know how far my friend is from Dealer XY?
[/list]
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[h1] Developers: [/h1]
The developers are a disgrace to the gaming industry.These clowns put effort into the demo, even added a cutscene at the end – but in the main game? Not a single cutscene.
Honestly: ChatGPT could’ve coded this game better than you ever will. And the cherry on top? They seriously wanted to sue the dev of Schedule One. For what? For the fact that a single developer did a better job than your entire "studio"?
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[h1] Casino DLC: [/h1]
You buy the DLC and get access to the casino, which offers a limited selection of games:
[list]
[*]A single slot machine model, lazily copy-pasted about 250 times.
[*]Texas Hold'em, Blackjack, Roulette, All-In Poker.
[*]Low, medium, and high stakes options for all of them.
[/list]
You can buy skins for tables and slot machines, but they don’t change gameplay.
Then there are the so-called "passive casino profits", hyped up in loading screens:"Casino passive income has increased!"Sounds great, right? Spend 4,000,000 B to buy the casino and you’d expect serious money...
Nope.If you’ve unlocked Slavic stashes, the casino income is the same – about 150 B every 3-4 seconds. That means in real-world time, you wait 22 hours just to break even. Which really makes me think their combined IQ is about 22 as well.
The only extra perk? You get an extra hideout
[h1] Conclusion [/h1]
If you’re going to buy this game, only do it if it’s free – because it’s worth nothing more
And to whoever was responsible for the Steam achievements: please send me your address so I can ship you something huge to cram it where it hurts the most
👍 : 51 |
😃 : 3