A Day Without Me Reviews

Bad and broken on my end.

Teaboy's Basic(ish) Reviews....I read a lot of reviews when looking at games on Steam, and it quickly gets tiring – those who write involved, down to the micron scale reviews, although helpful, end up like looking at War & Peace when you’ve only got time for a quick 5 minute dump! This is middle of the road and to the point – not easy for me as I tend towards sesquipedalian loquaciousness! Vociferously Verbose? Alright, verbal diarrhoea. (Although I hate panning a developer’s work and all the time, effort and love they put into designing these – it is their life after all – this is my honest, personal opinion of my level of enjoyment. Sorry devs!). A note on time played: My Steam clock does not seem to work properly, indeed, it even minuses time on occasion! Plus, I have a tendency to wander off and leave games running at times, so time played may not be entirely accurate! Teaboy’s Tonsil Titillators or Toenail Titbits! (Rating) Tonsil Tickler (Totally Tops): The frenchy of which you always dreamt! To quote a master, “She’s got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a Man’s tonsils!”. An absolute masterpiece and joy to play. The Tits (Terrific): Everyone loves playing with these! Not THE best bit, but such fun on their own you can be lost for hours....mmmm. What most games you really like score – perfection is so rare after all. Torso Teaser (Taker of your Time): It’s a flat stomach....sure it’s nice to look at, run your fingers over, slobber on a bit, sometimes that bellybutton gets your motor running....but it's just basically the corridor between the two ‘gaming rooms’. The definitive ‘Meh’ - the middle ‘sideways thumb’ option for which everyone on Steam cries. Todger/Tadger & (scroTum) Taters (Tedious): Is it an ‘a’ or is it an ‘o’? Who cares! The meat can be fun to play with for about 5 minutes of your entire day, the rest it just hangs there and generally gets in the way of doing something else. The main problem of course, is the two veg sticking to your inside thigh. This is what this game feels like – the occasional/rare bouts of fun, the rest bobbing like a 19th century British Policeman (now you know why!). Toenail Tornado (Total Toss): A playthrough so appalling it’s like being trapped in a Turkish sauna with the ugliest, hairiest, fattest, sweatiest beast of a neolithic hominid who’s trimming his toenails using pliers and the splinters are reminiscent of a scene from the Normandy Landings. My god how did this get released!? Teaboy Touts (Score): Total Todger smhid (shake my head in despair - or in this case, disgust) The Review: I spent three quarters of an hour wandering the streets....amazingly the first direction I took I found a way south, found a sports car, could do nothing with it - every other vehicle is a wreck. Retraced my steps after walking every square inch of the map - even under trees where you can't see anything - finding NOTHING to interact with, finally re-found my house, went to my neighbour to the right and got through the hopscotch 'maze', finally got some stuff to pick up....lost the football under a small lorry with boxes. Found a way further north, found another sports car - again no interaction - found nothing new, went back south....could NOT find the way I found first thing!?!? Gave up and had a quick look at discussion page - only 5 entries - one of which said to roll the ball down a slide....the ball rolled under a truck! Soft lock, game over. I also found a church which was mentioned - no interaction for me! Maybe it 'opens' after doing the ball thing? I would also add that a collectable by the garage door I could NOT pick up until after I came back from the south and re-entered my house (which is technically done with)! I'm a controller player, joystick, joypad, gamepad, whatever you call them, I loathe using keyboard to play games....this game....omfg. The controller will MOVE you, but NOTHING ELSE! Therefore you have to use keyboard. And for a game that only has movement, run (shift) and pick up/interact (e) - are you seriously telling me you could not assign TWO %*&£(^! buttons!?!?!?!?!?!? So why complain then, even if you don't like kb/m controls? The movement is at a 45 degree angle, so all controls are skewed! Plus having the 'aswd' method for moving, wtf have 'e' as the other button!? My right hand is doing nothing (mouse has no function other than to zoom, which is totally unnecessary). Absolute trash. I am truly sorry to say that, but all the little things together just ended up enraging me - so for me, and many others it seems, this game is an exercise in frustration with zero enjoyment and I am not willing to go back and try again even after some helpful hints from the discussions page and people finishing it in 2 hours. I suppose the devs got free money out of me as I never refund a game. Damn shame.